There was that time with Jonathan. There were four betrayals that day.
Me and him were talking. He said he missed all the people at school. He wanted to see them again. Like it wasn't enough that he was willing to leave me and Warren and like, tell Buffy all our weaknesses and maybe turn us in. He also still wanted to hang out with everyone I hated from school. Like he forgave
them or something. I mean, maybe you could forgive one single person, who only shoved you against the wall once because they weren't thinking and other people thought it was funny. But the whole school? The collective? Includes the people who thought it was funny and the people who didn't do anything about it and the slutty girls and the ones that say 'fag' a hundred times a day and the guy that punched me in the nose. The collective
is evil incarnate, and to turn toward them is to turn away from me.
My chest hurt and my skin itched. I hate being pissed off; it's very uncomfortable. Warren nodded like he approved, and I went through with the plan by stabbing Jonathan in the tummy. It didn't take very long. He didn't scream or anything. But he looked surprised and in pain and really really sad. I lied to him to get him there, he wasn't armed, and he never saw it coming. That's why he was the perfect target.
I didn't find out until later that Warren wasn't really Warren. The First Evil lied to me, for months. My whole purpose in life was doing what he said, and it wasn't really him. I stopped lighting a candle every day and talking to Warren's photo for that whole period because I thought I was really talking to his ghost in person. So Warren's... whatever, spirit, or something, wherever he was, didn't hear from me that whole time, and he probably thought I forgot about him, but really the stupid First Evil was tricking me. I can't believe I fell for it. I should have known.
So that's four. Jonathan against me, me against Jonathan, the First Evil against me, and if I was smarter, or looking closer, or if I just tried harder, I would have known it wasn't Warren, somehow, and maybe I wouldn't have failed him again.Muse: Andrew Wells